Saturday, December 3, 2016

Max, the Bengal

So, I haven't posted much (if any?  I don't remember.) about our newest family member, Max.
Max is an 8 month old Bengal cat.
Max is ridiculously cute.
He is fun, playful, beautiful, and SO entertaining.
Max is also kind of evil.  LOL!

Where to begin, with how Max has 'enriched' our lives (mine, most specifically)...

***************MAX'S RAP SHEET****************

Well, he likes cups.  Preferably full cups, sitting unattended.
Little Jerk (which is his other, more commonly used name) enjoys spilling things a great deal, and it's even better if you are around to see his handiwork.  He will make eye contact, and bat that glass right off the counter.  He dumped a full cup of water all over the flour and box of salt I bought for Thanksgiving dinner, necessitating a last-minute trip to the store.

Max has broken:
3 mason jars
2 drinking glasses
1 (purple) fiestaware plate
1 wine glass (and a partridge in a pear tree)
and the top tier of my glass cupcake/dessert stand.

Shortly after he came home with us, I discovered the hard way that LJ (little jerk) enjoys peeing in cramped, dark spaces.  I found out when my dirty laundry suddenly smelled like ammonia.  Yeah, he likes to pee in there... so I replaced them all with lidded hampers, and threw several items of clothing away, because, EW.

One day Ella's hamster escaped his cage.
The cat found him before I did, and now Muffin only has one eye.  Poor Muffin.  :(

Obviously I was concerned when Christmas rolled around, because, tree + evil cat... you do the math.  Well, the tree is pretty much safe, but I cannot say the same for my sock monkey ornament.  Max has managed to steal my sock monkey twice, now.  The first time I got him back, put him higher on the tree, and I thought that was the end of it.

NOPE.

A week later, I'm tucking Ella into bed, and I spot my sock monkey ornament in her closet, tucked among the rest of her stuffed animals.

So I'm all "Ella, what is sock monkey doing here?"
She is genuinely mystified, like IDK, I didn't put it there.  Then the lightbulb goes off, and she yells "MAX!  MAX IS TRYING TO FRAME ME!"

Yep.  He took it and dragged it into her room in the night.  (Hers is the only bedroom he has access to at night.)  LJ tried to make sock monkey 'blend in' with the other stuffed animals.

Max also loves toilets.
LOVES.
You have to make sure to close the lid before you flush, or he will try to play with your TP.  GROSS.

I will end with something he routinely does that makes me very happy:
Max is a great hunter.  Unfortunately, he's housebound, and a little frustrated with his lack of prey. This is Texas, however, and we live in a rental.  A rental with a bit of a bug problem.  And damn, everything is definitely bigger in Texas!

Every night my little jerk kills cockroaches the size of my nose, and does a damned good job of it.  He makes me proud.  Damn it, all the wet counters/floors/food, and broken dishes are worth it!

NOTE TO ANYONE READING THIS:
Bengal cats are seriously like having an incredibly agile toddler in your house.  Everything you love will be in jeopardy.  Plan accordingly.  LOL!