Thursday, January 7, 2016

TSA, You're Killin' Me, Smalls

Over Christmas break, we took the kids to Florida to play with a giant mouse and spend copious amounts of our money.  (Disney World, I'm lookin' at you.)  So obviously we got to spend some time in the company of the local TSA, at the butt-crack of dawn, no less.

Let me start by saying that I've got no beef with the TSA, or airport security on any level.  It's all good, and I don't even mind showing off my holey socks to my fellow travelers, or getting randomly felt up.  Meh, worse things have happened, and hey - how else will they get to find out that I have back fat, or that my new Papermoon flannel is super-soft?  It's a win-win, am I right?

But I digress.
This isn't about me.
This is about another dude's unfortunate encounter with the TSA that I had the good fortune to witness.  (No, it wasn't a cavity search, but almost as good, I swear.)

So.  We're heading through security, and my eleven year-old's backpack is flagged for manual search. Ho hum... unexpectedly lengthy stay in the company of the TSA, but whatev.  I'm chill.  We get behind the man already waiting, and for lack of anything better to do, I intently watch the hand search of his bag.  And I see the TSA stealthily take something from his bag and whip it aside into a bin.  Curious...

The agent says something in a low tone to the man that I don't hear.  Frustrating!  I'm nosy, I admit it.  But then... I see her remove a pair of lacy ladies' panties from the bag and say "Sir, did you know these were here?  Are these yours?!"  He very nonchalantly says "No, not mine" as if lacy underwear appearing in his baggage out of thin air is just a thing that happens all the time.

The TSA throws the panties away, and I am dying trying to keep from laughing.
The man walks away, and the agent calls two more women over there, and they pick up the mystery bin from before, and I can see them measuring what was inside and trying very hard (and failing) to control their laughter.

Three guesses what was inside the bin.  I bet you'll only need one, and that it is the same guess as mine!  LOL!  ( I never found out for sure, though.)

Oh, and my daughter's bag was flagged because she was smuggling a bottle of water, FYI.   Thank you, Anna!  (But not so much for the smuggled Ginger Ale on the way back... seriously kid, again?!)

No comments:

Post a Comment