Tuesday, May 28, 2013

May - What A Fabulous Month!

So.  May...
It's been an interesting month, to say the least.

I'll start by saying that I turned 36 this month... and that is significant to me, because I have always kind of felt like this age is the tipping point, where middle-age begins.  I'm 'growing up' whether I like it or not.  (And  shockingly, I'm not altogether opposed to it - I feel pretty darned good, all things considered.)

We went to the US National Whitewater Center for my birthday and we all (kids included!) went zip lining.  It was a BLAST.  There are no pictures, but I don't really regret that - I was too busy having fun and living in the moment to worry about snapping pictures.

We've gone to Carowinds a few times already this season, and that's (almost) always a good time.  :)

The weekend of the 17th, we went to Daytona for a long weekend.  That?  Rocked.  We had a really great time!

Technically we were there for Paul to do the Abarth Track Experience, but we all had a fantastic time!  Not only did P get to do the Abarth Track Experience, he also did a ride-along in a race car (with a professional driver) on the big Daytona 500 track (180 mph turns, baby!)  He was soooo stoked.  And, he did well with his own racing, placing 4th in his group.

While P was racing, this is what the kids and I did:


That's right, we spent the whole day on the beach (well, OK, a little by the pool) and got some killer tans.  (Don't have a heart attack, I put SPF 1,000 on them, but they still tan.)  And yep - I commandeered the kiddo's Hello Kitty straw cup as a wine receptacle.  (Hey - all they had were mugs in the room, and no glass is allowed poolside.  I'm resourceful, that's all.)  Annnd... you have a leg/foot picture of me, because I don't trust my kids with my phone around so much water.  So, no pictures of me.  My iPhone did not want to go swimming... it heard what happened to the last one.  It has nightmares.

The next day, P was done with his racing stuff, so we all headed off to Universal Studios - Islands of Adventure!  Major awesomeness.  Especially Hogsmeade, and all the lovely Harry Potter goodness.


We ate at The Three Broomsticks, had butterbeer, rode rides (of course) and stared at everything there, marveling at how much like the movie it really was!  The kids got souvenir wands:  Anna chose Viktor Krum's, and Ella chose Luna Lovegood's.  After a long day, we had dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe there, and my oldest learned all about Buddy Holly.  So proud.

Then, back to the beach the next day.
It was so lovely, and the weather was perfect for us.  :)


Over Memorial Day weekend, we did a lot of family stuff... went to see Epic "I'm a slug, baby.  No shell hur!", went bowling, had a family cookout, and went to Carowinds (even froze in the water park for a while).  And now we wait... the end of school is just around the corner, and I have a lot planned for this summer!

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Anxiety

I've never had an anxiety attack before in my life, but I've been stuck in hell for the last couple of days.

Clenched stomach.
Sense of impending doom.
Feeling out of control.
Manic.

In short, I feel like an acrobat who looked down and found that her safety net has disappeared unexpectedly.  Gut-clenching, spine-tingling horror at the discovery... every move seems to make the anxiety grow.

Helplessness.
Out of control.
Manic desire to regain control...

I feel insane.
This has never happened to me before.
In fact, I am writing this with the fervent hope that by getting it out I will be able to exercise some modicum of control over a situation that has me completely bewildered and shaken up.

Control... I need control.  I don't know, I need something... I need order and peace.  I need for this paralyzing knot in my stomach to go away.