Friday, October 25, 2013

A Day In The Life Of ME

I'm sure y'all are all wondering "Just what is it like to be Dawn... I mean, really, what is it LIKE?"

Well, you're in luck, because today I am going to tell you.  I will walk you step (by painful step) through today, and all (OK, most) of it's interesting events.

We'll start here:  I woke up.  After an entire night of waking up every 1.5 hours, almost on the dot.  That was FUN!  (Have I mentioned how much I love 6am?  It's the best.  /sarcasm)  Then, I woke Little One up....  (Have I mentioned that getting her 'breakfast order' out of her is like pulling teeth?  Chickie is about to lose her choosing privileges.)

I got her fed (eventually) and ready for school, then woke Big One up.  Big One hates mornings almost as much as I do, but it was necessary today, because we were due at school for little one's Field Day in less than an hour.  Yes, you read that right:  Field Day in October.  (The school started this a few years ago, because it's generally really freaking hot at the 'traditional' time for Field Day, and they decided that our precious snowflakes were getting too overheated.  So, October it is!)

Have I mentioned yet that we are having a cold snap?  No?

Have I mentioned that we weren't expecting it so soon, and didn't have winter coats yet?  No?

Consider it mentioned.  It's mentioned - it was freaking C.O.L.D. this morning.  Two hours in sub-45 degree weather is not my idea of a good time... but I was just kind of thanking my lucky stars that Field Day these days is ONLY two hours as opposed to the all-day event it was when I was a kid.  Because?  I was freezing my patootie off.  I don't DO cold.

Did I mention that we don't have winter coats?  Yeah.
I spent the entire two hours with Little One holed up on my lap leeching my body heat.  Big One was going nuts, chasing kids around the playground because SOMEONE (who shall remain nameless) forgot to give her her meds this morning.  DOH!  Subsequently, Big One didn't even notice the cold... she was too busy being crazy.

Needless to say, the Dunkin' Donuts coffee I brought along was cold in 2.5 minutes.  Little One was so cold she was sneaking sips!!  Of coffee!!  (We are not winter-type people)

After Field Day was over, we promptly high-tailed it to the mall, and purchased winter coats.  Of course, Little One dithered and dithered... we went to every darned store in our crappy mall, before she chose a coat.  Thank GAWD.  I was about to die.  But, we are now ready for that evil joke called 'winter'.  (It's only acceptable if there is snow involved, and we get very little of that.)

We had lunch at the mall, and Little One just couldn't wait ANY LONGER, and started unwrapping her sub while I was paying... and she dumped every single topping onto the floor.  Yay.

We come home and I'm still freezing, so I take a bath.

Then we go to the grocery store.  O.M.G.  Never do this if you can help it.  Seriously.  I had two kids fighting and fussing, and complaining throughout the entire trip.  They complained, made gagging noises, and pitched a fit over every. single. dinner option I tried to put in the cart.  They pissed me off ROYALLY.  So I told them they are having oatmeal tonight, and they are not ALLOWED to eat dinner with Dad and I.

Crying and wailing ensued.  Little One said to me (between sniffles) "You're lucky I don't tell my teacher that YOU DON'T FEED ME!"  I smiled a slow, measured smile and said calmly and quietly "You go RIGHT AHEAD."

Then I get to the register, and we are halfway done checking out when I realize the awful truth - my wallet is sitting on my desk.  At home.  From when I entered a Scentsy order earlier.  I leave with Little One crying (about the oatmeal) and a cart-full of groceries at the front of the store.  When I am trying to pull out of the parking lot, I got cut off - twice.  I might have let loose with an expletive....  To that, Big One says "Maybe if you were NICER to people, you'd have better luck."  EXCUSE ME?!

Eventually though, we get it paid for and get everything home....

Then, of course, the popsicles were melted.  MELTED.  And then Little One had yet another meltdown.

But here's the good news:  I bought sparkling wine at the store, and I'm drinking it.  Also, I have hereby declared today as "Mommy Strike-Day" and I'm not doing diddly-squat for the rest of the evening.  I kind of think I've earned it.

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