Tuesday, May 14, 2013


I've never had an anxiety attack before in my life, but I've been stuck in hell for the last couple of days.

Clenched stomach.
Sense of impending doom.
Feeling out of control.

In short, I feel like an acrobat who looked down and found that her safety net has disappeared unexpectedly.  Gut-clenching, spine-tingling horror at the discovery... every move seems to make the anxiety grow.

Out of control.
Manic desire to regain control...

I feel insane.
This has never happened to me before.
In fact, I am writing this with the fervent hope that by getting it out I will be able to exercise some modicum of control over a situation that has me completely bewildered and shaken up.

Control... I need control.  I don't know, I need something... I need order and peace.  I need for this paralyzing knot in my stomach to go away.

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