Thursday, April 18, 2013

Back To Square One...

Never, never, ever have I felt that my blog title was more appropriate than I do today.
This is my life: taming the wind... although, today it feels more like attempting to domesticate a wild animal.

I am tired.
The last few weeks have been an uphill battle, and I have lost.
L.O.S.T.

My daughter has Asperger's and ADHD, and has been on meds for two years (the same one for about a year and a half).  In that time she gained no weight - zero, zippo, zilch.  Her younger sister (by two years) is only about 4lbs less than her.  She went from normal-sized to stick thin.  I was understandably worried, and changed her meds to improve her appetite.  Her appetite improved, but everything else went downhill.  :(

She is up 4 lbs, but I can't take it anymore, and she's going back on her old medication.  :(

I feel like a failure, but the new meds do NOTHING for her... she's a mess.  A leaping, fidgeting, head-in-the-clouds, crazy mess.  She literally CANNOT concentrate, she can't sit still, she is LOUD, overly fearless, oblivious to danger, oblivious to others, oblivious to the messes she creates and havoc she wreaks, and frankly a nightmare to try to teach.

I love her dearly, but I am losing my mind.  LOSING IT.
Something's gotta give.

She's been on the new meds for a couple of months, and everything is going to hell in a handbasket.  I am stuck between a rock and a hard place - faced with the decision of which is more important, her weight/eating, or her overall well-being (and the well-being of those around her)?

Back to square one....

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