Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Voting - DONE.

Well, I decided that abstaining from the vote this year was a reaction borne out of frustration and the childish desire to not have to make a hard decision.  So, I sucked it up.

I voted this morning.
Now I just hope I made a decision that I won't come to regret in the next couple of years.  (Listen to me, talking like my candidate has already won!  I might dismay over this election in the end for reasons that have nothing to do with me....)

I always find voting to be an interesting experience.
I stand in line observing everyone coming in and out... I mentally note demographic information, and try to decide how I think they will vote based only on what I can see.  The only problem is that I always wonder how I did with my impromptu judgments afterward, and I never get to find out.  Bugger.  LOL

As usual, this year (for me) it came down to choosing the lesser of the two evils.  I have to admit, it wasn't a 'fun' decision to ignore some things that are very important to me because other things have to take precedence, and I can't have it both ways.  *sigh*

And now, I wait.
That's the worst part about early voting - the delayed gratification.  You have to wait what feels like FOREVER to find out if folks agree with you or not.

We'll see.
But for now I will eat Halloween candy.  :)

Tuesday, October 30, 2012


Having one of those days...

Do you ever feel like you're sleepwalking through the day-to-day?
I do.  I think that's part of the reason I've been trying to fill up the days and weeks with activities, plans, etc.  Maybe it's a form of escape; a way to feel some excitement and purpose.

Sometimes I feel like everything has become so completely familiar that I want to climb out of my own skin - I want to rebel against the familiarity and predictability of my life.

It's probably a destructive urge, but it's undeniably strong.

Life shouldn't feel flat... should it?  What is life without passion and purpose?

I'm trying to climb out of this feeling and make my life purposeful and passionate, because I know I need it.  I need it, and I want it.  I think it's necessary to life, actually... not just for me, but for everyone.  The death of purpose and passion means the death of our souls.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Ah, Fall Weekends

Boy, have I been busy lately!
Everyone (including me) has been taking advantage of our most temperate, lovely month of the year, and planning a million cool things to do in October.

Friday night we went to a local farm and went through a corn maze, a haystack maze, ate fried Oreos and funnel cake, and went on a nighttime hayride complete with dramatic re-enactment of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.  FUN!

And the highlight of this weekend - the GOTR runway 5K.
I MADE IT OUT ALIVE, and here's the proof!

And, I wasn't last - we actually finished in the top 50%, which I'm pretty excited about.  :D  Given that I was running with an 8 year-old, that's pretty sweet, I think.

We followed up the 5K with a Halloween party, and then zonked. OUT. for many hours... had to be up and ready for today, when we took my Girl Scout troop to the Renaissance Festival!

This is about half my troop - is that a good-looking group of girls, or what?  We had a blast today!  I might be slightly biased, but I think they are the best little girls on the planet!

We had turkey legs, trick-or-treated, rode a camel, watched some zombie jousting, did the festival's 'Treasure Hunt', visited the petting zoo and rode some rides.  It was fabulous introducing three of my girls to this awesome experience for the first time - maybe next year when we go again, I'll dress up!

Whew!  Between yesterday and today, my feet are sore.  :)

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Back To School

Of my 35 years of life, approximately 20 of them have been spent enrolled in some sort of school.

So tell me, why am I scared NOW?

I've been to four different colleges on six different occasions, and I'm supposed to enroll again for spring semester, but I've been putting it off.  Can't seem to pull the trigger, because I'm scared shitless.

Maybe because this time it's really 'for real'.  I'm going to 'learn a trade' rather than going just because I like learning.  I think perhaps I'm more afraid of what comes afterward... getting a job, and trying to balance running the house and mothering the kids with a full-time job.  It's something I've never done, and something I'm just not sure I even want to do.

When I think about a full-time job outside the home, raising two kids (one of whom has some special needs), keeping the house relatively sanitary, laundry done, homework done, taking the kids to GOTR, karate, and running a Girl Scout troop, I feel like hyperventilating.  Oh, and somewhere in there I'm supposed to take care of myself, my vehicle, cook, exercise, and (according to Cosmo) have a great sex life, too.

Not to mention that next year I'll be going to school AND homeschooling one of my girls.

Yeah, I'm freaked out.

And I KNOW there are Moms that work that will read this and think I'm a total punk for complaining, because they've been doing it all along.  BUT please keep in this in mind:  everyone's situation is different, and you don't know my life or the complexities of it any more than I know yours.

Right now I am sitting here trying to urge myself to make the phone call I need to make to get the ball rolling... wish me luck.  And pray that I don't lose my mind along the way....  LOL!

Edited to add:
I made the phone call.  *gulp*  I'll be on my way soon.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

I Don't Care About Your Team

Seriously, it really is.

"But the Panthers..."

"But those refs were..."

"My fantasy football team was..."

No no no.
I just don't care.  I don't care if the refs sucked, if the new coach is a moron, if all the best players were hurt/sick/dying... I just don't.  But hey, thanks for the 18,000 different recaps in my FB newsfeed - thanks to you people I'll never like football, because I'll never NEED to watch a game to find out what it's like.

 If it's half as annoying as y'all, I feel confident I'm not missing out on anything.

And here I thought elections were bad.  Cripes.  At least that mess only happens every four years as opposed to every. frikken. week....

Seriously dudes.  If FB had a 'hide football statuses' option, I would use it, and use it well.  This is ridiculous.

And man, don't even get me STARTED on the rivalry aspect:
"MY team kicked your team's ASS!  SUCK IT!"
I'm thinking "Really, douchebag?  Since when do YOU play for the NFL?  YOUR team?  Dude, your ass has never even been to Texas... the Cowboys are your team how?"

Meh, I'm really not that big a bitch... I think some people are just begging to be hidden on FB.  Or maybe I'm cranky and I need wine... that could be it, too.

Saturday, October 20, 2012


Busy makes me happy.
I like seeing the calendar filled up, and knowing that I have plans, obligations, a purpose.  When my plans get cancelled, I mope... or I feel antsy as heck.

All those years of studying Psychology makes me paranoid.
The little voice inside my head says "Really, Dawn?  Busy makes you happy?  If you're not busy; if you have to sit and be still, are you afraid of what you might find?"  Dude.  Am I?  Am I busy because it's the best way to curb reflection and over-thinking?  Heh.  Maybe.

Or maybe I'm over-thinking RIGHT NOW.
Over-thinking, or totally ass-kicking wise?  Who knows.  Probably the former, if history is any indication.  LOL!

My plans got cancelled tonight.  :(  Boo hoo.
We were supposed to go out with friends to a yummy Brazilian steakhouse called Chima.  Total deliciousness.  But, the hubs got sick... so we had to cancel.  :(

Now it's just me, the internet, my DVR, and a bottle of wine.
Not bad company, just not what I was expecting for tonight.  And now I have to make dinner, too.  Crap.

So yeah.  Tonight I'm not busy, and I'm not loving it.
Over the last few months my calendar has been filling up more than ever... putting the kids in activities, taking on more Girl Scouts, meeting friends, doing more sewing, and taking on more and more responsibility.  I like it.  It fills that random 'hole' that I can't figure out and don't know what to do with.

Maybe this is what was missing, maybe not... but it works for now.  :)

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Bruno Mars - Locked Out Of Heaven

I love this song.  :D

Yep.  That's it for now.
It's been a long week... more later.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Happy Anniversary To MEEE!

Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary.
At 4pm, I will have been married 11 years.

I won't lie, it seems a little nuts to think that an entire DECADE has gone behind us... when did I get old enough to say I've been married 11 years?  Sometimes the wedding itself still seems like it was just a little while ago... how fun that was!  :)

Some snapshots from the wedding (our server is down, or I'd post some better quality images):


If I do say so myself, that was a hell of a wedding - a great time was had by all.  People still tell us it was the most fun wedding they've ever been to, and ask us when we're going to do it again.  LOL!

I never really thought I would meet someone who would accept me, warts and all... but as they say, there's a lid for every pot.  It's true, there is.  I am crazy sometimes, I can be emotional and overbearing, and infuriatingly stubborn... but it doesn't matter.  11 years later, and my 'lid' is still hanging in there.  :)

I feel very blessed.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

"Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine."

I think the title sums it up pretty well.
What is it with people who think that deadlines are merely a suggestion?

I'm a scout leader, and we have a lot of activities and trips happening.  My co-leader and I carefully planned them all, arranged everything, chaperon everything, and take care of all the details... all we ask is that permission slips and money get turned in on time.

It's like pulling teeth.
People, it's simple:  if you want your kid to go, get the crap to us on time.

You had two weeks.

I have a life.  No, I cannot meet you here, there, and everywhere to pick up forms individually.  I'm tired of emailing, and calling, and reminding.  I spent hours typing up information and forms initially, and now I'm spending hours following up.  This. Is. Ridiculous.

Have a little respect for my time.  The world doesn't revolve around you and your kid.

Well, at least I've learned something here - I am too nice and accommodating.  That is going to change.  Next time there will be no follow-up, and deadlines are FIRM.

Get ready, there's a new Dawn approaching...

Monday, October 8, 2012

The Fair - YAY!

So, Saturday my husband and I took the girls to the Cleveland County Fair - it was their first time going, and they had a ball!  Actually, it was the first time for ALL of us.

Yep.  I've lived in this area for most of my life, and I've NEVER been to the fair.  I remember begging to go every year when I was a kid... they'd hand out those yellow 'free tickets' at school, and I'd come home waving it around, saying 'Can we go, can we go?  It's FREE!'  I didn't get it.

We never got to go when I was a kid, because it was much too expensive - we simply didn't have the money, even with the 'free' admission ticket.  It never occurred to me as a kid that that 'free ticket' would only get me through the gates... rides cost extra.  And BOY do they ever!

I admit, I still really didn't have a clue when we went on Saturday... I was excited to finally go, and to take my kids!  Then, the sticker-shock set in.


We got tickets, and immediately I grabbed the kids and ran gleefully to the Ferris Wheel... that's when I saw the ticket cost, and calculated that it would cost around $25 for my family of four to go around in circles for a few minutes.


We gave the Ferris Wheel a miss.  But then we ended up spending $25 for the four of us to ride The Himalaya for less than 5 minutes....  I couldn't resist it.  I went to the State Fair years ago when I lived in Raleigh, and remember loving that ride, so I had to do it again.

All in all, I learned a lot at the fair.

1.  The price-gouging is so ridiculous, you need an economy-sized tube of KY.
2.  A fair is a good way to gain 10 lbs in one day, because food is the ONLY affordable thing there, and everything is deep-fried.
3.  You can deep-fry anything, and it will be good.  Stricklands of Shelby has proven that.
4.  Chicken coops smell like the bowels of hell when under a barn on a hot day.
5.  Don't go off the path.  You WILL step in something unsavory.

The best part?  My loaded ribbon fries, and chocolate-covered strawberries on a stick.  GOOD.  Really, really good.  Next time, the deep-fried Milky Way is MINE.  :D

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Gotta Run!

So, I'm back on the Couch to 5k wagon.  I say 'back on' because I did it once a couple of years ago, but lost steam after I got very sick that winter, and I never went back to it.  Until now.

My daughter joined Girls On The Run this year, and she needs a 'running buddy'.

I was surprised to find that I wanted to do it.  And I don't want her to be dragging me across the finish line - my goal is simply to be able to KEEP UP with my 8 year-old.  LOL!

I'm not gonna lie... at first I thought "Ugh, not THIS again!"  I never really got that 'running high' people talk about, last time.  It was always a struggle to get up and do it - I definitely didn't look forward to it.  And my first day back at it, I thought I would die.  I got to a point where I thought I couldn't make it any longer, and thought "I must be nearly done" only to hear the perky announcer-lady on the phone app cheerfully say "YOU'RE HALFWAY!"  I wanted to track her down and punch her in the neck.  HALF-EFFING-WAY?!  I'm dying here!

But this time... this time, an amazing thing is happening - I like it.  In a perverse way, I look forward to it.  I know it'll be tough, and it'll kick my butt, but I look forward to it anyway.  And I don't want to punch the announcer-lady in the neck anymore.  This time, I actually think I can DO this!  :D

What's different?  I don't know.  Maybe my motivation?
This time I'm not doing it because I want to look better, I'm not doing it because I think I should, or to placate my husband... I'm doing it because I WANT to, plain and simple.  :)  I think that's the difference - it's for me this time.

Our first 5k is on October 27th... and I'm looking forward to it.  Now, I hope I don't pass out halfway through, or get shamed by a bunch of 8 year-olds.  :D

Wish me luck!  (And pray that I don't die in the process.  LOL)

Monday, October 1, 2012

Freaking Elections SUCK

Well, it's about that time again - election time.  And I have come to one conclusion:  four years is simply not enough time to get over the horrors of the last election process... and now they want me to do it AGAIN?


I'm over it.
This sucks.
I hate assholes and I hate politics - so I'm screwed.

Tell me, how in the hell am I supposed to choose a candidate to run this country?   My choices are candidate X who seems to view me as a second-class citizen (at best), and candidate Y, who seems to want to save every vagrant and welfare-moocher on my dime.

THESE are my choices?
It's like asking a person to choose what terminal illness is 'just right for them'.

At this point, I may as well just abstain from the vote, because there is NO good choice for me, as a semi-conservative woman.  I feel very overlooked and unrepresented, and don't think I can vote in good conscience.


I guess I'll just be hoping that the country doesn't go to hell in a handbasket (even more) by the next election, and that next time there will be someone I can actually feel good about.  And maybe I'll go ice skating in hell on my summer vacation...