Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Back To School

Of my 35 years of life, approximately 20 of them have been spent enrolled in some sort of school.
TWENTY YEARS.

So tell me, why am I scared NOW?

I've been to four different colleges on six different occasions, and I'm supposed to enroll again for spring semester, but I've been putting it off.  Can't seem to pull the trigger, because I'm scared shitless.

Maybe because this time it's really 'for real'.  I'm going to 'learn a trade' rather than going just because I like learning.  I think perhaps I'm more afraid of what comes afterward... getting a job, and trying to balance running the house and mothering the kids with a full-time job.  It's something I've never done, and something I'm just not sure I even want to do.

When I think about a full-time job outside the home, raising two kids (one of whom has some special needs), keeping the house relatively sanitary, laundry done, homework done, taking the kids to GOTR, karate, and running a Girl Scout troop, I feel like hyperventilating.  Oh, and somewhere in there I'm supposed to take care of myself, my vehicle, cook, exercise, and (according to Cosmo) have a great sex life, too.

Not to mention that next year I'll be going to school AND homeschooling one of my girls.

Yeah, I'm freaked out.

And I KNOW there are Moms that work that will read this and think I'm a total punk for complaining, because they've been doing it all along.  BUT please keep in this in mind:  everyone's situation is different, and you don't know my life or the complexities of it any more than I know yours.

Right now I am sitting here trying to urge myself to make the phone call I need to make to get the ball rolling... wish me luck.  And pray that I don't lose my mind along the way....  LOL!

Edited to add:
I made the phone call.  *gulp*  I'll be on my way soon.

No comments:

Post a Comment