Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Toddler Flashback

So, for the last two days I've been presiding over a brood of FOUR rather than my usual two.

It's been an experience, for sure.  I am an old pro at handling two - you get used to the interpersonal dynamics, know how to defuse situations, and are fairly adept at keeping things clean enough to avoid a nasty visit from the Department of Health.  But with two extras?  It's a little tricky.... especially when three are around the same age, and the third is a toddler.

I am not used to having a toddler around, anymore.

It's true what they say:  you forget.  Your mind just locks it away in a vault, and all you remember are the rosy bits.  You forget how two year-old kids put everything in their mouths.  You forget how utterly Houdini-like toddlers are, and how they FIND EVERYTHING.  You forget that the minute you put the toddler down for a nap, he/she will inevitably poop - it's like a Pavlovian trigger:  nap = poop.  I'd forgotten it all, but it came crashing back with a quickness as soon as I spotted said two year-old RIDING my (15 lb) dog, clutching my child's (pricey!) portable game system, and sucking on a silver ring.  YIKES!

And yes, she did poop as soon as I put her down for a nap... the first day.  Today she pooped while she was playing, and when I walked into the room, do you know how I knew?  The dog.  The FREAKING DOG was nipping at her behind.  GROSS!

Said dog chewed a hole in the diaper to try to get to the poop.  (Note to self:  babies and Jack Russell Terriers do not mix.)  I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, though... this is the same dog that prefers dirty, bug-filled, fetid standing water to the fresh, clean, cold water in her bowl.  Blech.

At any rate, I'm kind of pooped (ha).
I'd forgotten how 'on your toes' you need to be with the under-4 set.  The child is a perfectly pleasant kid, but I must say - I'm very grateful for vasectomies today.  :)  I'm over the poop thing.

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