Monday, July 9, 2012

So I Dated A Narcissist...

Yep, I did.  More than once.
And I don't mean narcissist in the 'loose' sense... I mean, full-on word-twisting, game-playing, rug-pulling, disturbed narcissism with a CAPITAL N.

Wanna know the worst part?
I didn't know it.  I thought I WAS CRAZY.  I thought I was deficient, didn't know how to have a proper relationship, and that I must have done SOMETHING.  For years and years I wondered where it all went wrong... what did I do?

I didn't do anything shady.  I loved, and expected love in return.
Apparently that's where I went wrong - expecting in return.  Narcissists want you to feed their ego... they want what they want, when they want it.  They will woo you however they have to until they get what they want/need, then they will drop you like last week's leftovers... until they need another ego boost.

Thank God that I stumbled across a website of other women describing my past to a TEE.  Thank God it's not just me, and I wasn't crazy after all.

I'm going to list a few gems from a website, just for kicks.  These are things a narcissist SAYS, then underneath, it's what they mean.  If you start hearing this stuff, and start to believe you're crazy, you're probably with a Narcissist.  Get out, before you spend years confused and despairing, wondering what's wrong with you.  Trust me.

Annnnd... GO!

What do you like about me?
Come on... give me some supply here... I'm fresh out and my ego would like a hit!

You took that out of context.
Damn, you're on to me. I need to make you think you're losing you mind and imagining things. I will deny everything I said. - a Narc classic

I think I'm a really good person for you to know.
I'm going to suck you dry and take you for all you're worth! Yee haw!!

I feel a sort of twinship and kinship with you.
You're a great target. I'm lining you up as my next victim. Wonder if you'll fall for the 'you're my soulmate' line?

No one knows you better than I do.
You're going to be what I want you to be, so bend over and take it!

You read too much into everything.
You're getting close to figuring me out, damn you!

We will never be able to be together.
Now that I have you brainwashed and totally in love with me I'm going to grind you down and hurt you so badly you'll never be able to get up again.

You know the answer!
I don't know what to say to brainwash you more, so I'll let you twist and fill in the blanks for awhile.

I'm not going to get into this right now!
You're catching on to me... I am going to shame dump and guilt you so you will stop questioning me.

I see something in you.
...I can exploit, use and abuse for my own needs... so bend over baby 'cause here it comes

I don't think you and I talking would do either of us any good.
Since you have me figured out and won't buy any more of my b.s. I can't face you. You scare me and you might just reveal more of the sick predator I am.

I would be stoked if she had a little more enthusiasm toward me.
I'm KING OF THE WORLD... whooo hooo

She should be stoked that I love to surf everyday, and I'm good at it.
Her whole life isn't all about ME!!! She's breaking through my brainwashing & abuse. Damn her... how can I make her feel bad??

She resents my lifestyle. "I Live in Lightness", and she lives in Heaviness, Drama, and Ungratefulness.
She ripped off my mask and figured out what a user, abuser and complete fake piece of pond scum I am. So I will now say negative things about her for calling me on my shit. Implying she's an unhappy drama queen is the just beginning of my smear campaign.

We cannot be friends. I'm doing this for both of us
I couldn't care less about you. I don't want you around to warn my new victims...

I did it to protect you
I did it to protect me but now I am going to make you feel bad by backward talking!

I just don't feel passionately about you in the way a man is supposed to love a woman.  
I can't feel any emotions and you want emotions... so I will make it YOUR fault.

I want the baby but not the mother.
Babies don't know any different. As soon as the baby develops a mind of its own, however - I will dump it faster than I dumped you. Besides, babies are great lures for new victims... er, women.

I left you because of the way you treated me.
I left because you started to figure me out... Damn you.

Your expectations are unreasonable...
I can't give you what you want because I am not human and I am evil. So let's make this your fault.

I would never do anything to hurt you.
(BACKWARDS TALK) I love hurting you, it makes me feel so powerful and in control - so never defend yourself against me. Wait until I throw you away like a used condom! (Tarzan yell)

You and I understand each other.
(NLP) I want you to think you understand me and I have profiled and brainwashed you so thoroughly! Man I love controlling you.

You did impact me.
You had no impact on me. No one & nothing does. But if I say this it will have an IMPACT on YOU and I can take up free rent in YOUR head forever.

I won't forget you.
I already forgot but I want to make sure you obsess about me forever! OOOOO!! Power!

You know I have feelings for you.
Feelings I won't define. However I am envious, angry and downright jealous of you and always have been. You're decent, real, honest, well-liked, talented and smart. Everything I am not. But if I imply I might 'love you' you won't rip off my mask!

We can never be friends NO friend treats me like you did.
I have NO friends - I have proxies and sycophants. How dare you figure me out!

We will always be attracted to each other.
An NLP command to plant in your brain to make sure I can come around and sleep with you whenever I want.

I value you.
You're great Narcissistic Supply.

I guess this relationship has not been healthy for you.
Wow I feel so good inside knowing how bad I messed you up. I am so powerful! ME ME ME!!

She forced me to choose between her and the army.
And she wanted me to stop sleeping around... something I will NEVER NEVER do!! mwhaaa haaa haa!

I would never lie to you.
(typical backwards N talk. If their mouth is moving, they're lying.)

Maybe I am not the right person for you.
I am going to 'sow the seeds of doubt' in you so that you will work harder to make ME happy and PLEASE ME ME ME. This will also keep her trauma-bonded to me because she'll be afraid of me leaving her!

Every man wants to be king of his castle.
I am OMNIPOTENT! If I tell her EVERY man wants to be like it totally justifies my behavior and makes her feel like crap. (Tarzan yell)

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