Sunday, December 19, 2010

Oh, My Aching Gobstoppers...

Well, paint me orange and roll me down a chocolate river!

I've been awake for two hours, and have been asked for candy no less than 94,000 times. The endless refrain has nearly caused me to scream, which hasn't happened before 9am since the infant days when, after pulling an all-nighter with a cranky baby, I was giving the kids breakfast while my husband was curled up snugly in the bed.

But I digress....

Do I LOOK like an Oompa Loompa? Willy Wonka, perhaps?
No? Good answer. Then tell me - why, WHY do these children persist in treating me as though I should be wearing a huge hat and giving tours through my magic factory?

I blame it on Halloween.
The kidlets are getting older now, and collected significantly more candy this year than in times past. It may also be in part the fault of my flawed plan this year. The plan? Get that big bowl of candy out of the way as quickly as possible. Bad idea. They caught on, and now believe that even the smallest accomplishments are worthy of a piece of candy.

"Hey Mom! I sneezed... can I have a piece of candy!"
"But Mooooom... I ate two green beans! Can I have candy?"

This morning they banded together and decided that simply waking up earned them the privilege of stuffing themselves and spending the morning in a sugar coma. Dude, I don't THINK SO. All waking up in the morning earns me is a Diet Coke and a steady diet of whining.

Don't these kids know me but at ALL?
If they slept until 9am, I would SO paint my face orange, slap on some leiderhosen and bring them wheelbarrows full of candy.