Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Wait.. Which Way to Hair and Make-up?

Bows, bags, designer clothes, matching ensembles, pristine hair... all were present and accounted for yesterday.

Oh no, not on me.
No, I didn't skip off to Milan for a fashion show either.

You see, yesterday was the first day of preschool for my kids.

The group hanging out by the front doors looked relatively normal from far away... but as we got closer I started noticing things. High-end boutique outfits matched with pricey, dainty shoes, custom hair accessories, and monogrammed everything. And that was just the children.

My kids arrived dressed in stuff from the Gymboree outlet, and Target.

Go me!

I almost felt as though I should apologize to my children for my horrendous misjudgment of the situation. You see, *I* was under the impression that kids played rough, painted, used playdoh and markers, and messed around with glue in preschool.

Today my suspicions were confirmed when upon picking up my oldest daughter, I noticed a large amount of dried glue on her forearm.

So apparently I did not completely misjudge the activities one might expect to occur at a preschool. For a second there I thought I had accidentally enrolled my girls in finishing school, or the Barbizon Modeling school. (I'm still suspicious of the latter, and will be keeping an eye opened for any Jon-Benet Ramsey look-alikes on campus.)

Given that my personal vision of preschool seems to fall into line with the actual curriculum, I am left with the following conclusions from which to choose:

a) These people must have some super-duper secret stain remover in their arsenal, making it feasible to send their kids off to paint/play in the sandbox/make 'art' in designer duds.

b) They are all excellent seamstresses, and can whip up a handmade designer replica in 5 minutes when there's a bit of 'slippage' with the old tempera paint.

c) They can afford to replace designer outfits at a staggering frequency.

d) They have gone clinically insane.

I won't tell you which option I suspect, but I will say this: it rhymes with 'bee'.

If I get my kids' shoe laces or socks monogrammed, somebody call for help. It means they've gotten to me... and I don't want to be taken to their leader.

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