Thursday, August 14, 2008

She's A Rogue...

My child is an outlaw.
A criminal.
A petty thief.

That's right folks. At the ripe old age of four, my child has committed her first misdemeanor. (I'm so proud. *sniff*)

Just yesterday we were driving away from the Evil Empire (aka: Wal Mart) having had an uncharacteristically lovely shopping trip, when I spotted the contraband upon her person. It took a moment for the reality of what I was seeing to hit me - my daughter was happily clutching a tacky, hideous postcard extolling the virtues of our great state. A postcard that I did not shell out any cash to procure. And given that the four year-old in question is broke as a joke (and doesn't know how to use the self-scanner register), I can only assume that she shoplifted it.

Of course, like any good Mother I gave a 'talk' about why stealing tacky postcards is wrong, and why we don't do such things.

I mean, damn. If you're going to steal, get something nice and shiny for Mama. :D We're going to have to work on the poor child's taste if she ever hopes to make a lucrative career of this - after all, I hope to have her hotwiring Beemers before her sixth birthday. We're off to an abysmal start, methinks.

The contraband - Exhibit A: (Details of tacky postcard changed to protect the innocent (and not-so-innocent)).

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