Monday, January 7, 2008

You Need To Drop A Few....

I knew it was going to happen.
Even before I made the Big Mistake, I knew it was going to happen.
A little niggling thought in the back of my head said "Don't do it, Dawn! The minute you sit down at the table, the little vultures will be on your pizza like white on rice! Don't do it!"

I did it.
I took my (individual sized) DiGiorno pizza and sat down at the table with the kids, who (until then) were dining happily on hot dogs and macaroni and cheese.

Then all hell broke loose.

I was treated to a non-stop refrain (in stereo) of "I want pizza!" "Pizza, Mommy!" "I want some pizza!"

The kicker? They don't even like pizza.
But since I'm eating it, it must be a wonderful, magical, NEW kind of pizza that they just can't live without.

Riiiight.

True to form, I parted with a slice and split it between the wild-eyed animals on either side of me... they were scaring me. I thought that at any moment they would break out of the chains (or booster belts, but whatever) that bound them and leap for my jugular. They would not be appeased otherwise.

The pizza ended up with half the cheese missing, and it's final resting place was... (*drumroll please*) the garbage can.

*Sigh*

My kids are the best freaking diet program in the world.

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