Friday, December 7, 2007

Dandruff

So, it's gotten rather chilly here lately.
In fact, it's what a lot of Southerners (to the smirking amusement of those used to 'real winters') would call bitterly cold.
Brrrr.

Before I go on, you must understand one thing: Here in North Carolina, we have very little concept of what 'winter' really means.
To us, winter means digging out a sweater or two, and maybe a light coat. The words PARKA and SNOW BOOTS are as foreign to us as grits are to an Indian family living in New Jersey. We simply have no use for them.

Now, knowing a bit about our area, it will come as no surprise that snowfall is a Big Deal. Any snowfall. 1/4 inch of snow is grounds for a Holiday around here. Not only are all schools and workplaces shut down until the last of the evil white stuff melts, but everyone kicks into 'disaster mode' buying up all the bread and milk in a ten-mile radius.

(Hey. We have no snow plows, and to my knowledge nobody here even knows that snow tires exist. )

But that's not really the point. The point is that if anyone admits that it MIGHT be possible to drive in snow flurries, they might stop declaring every little bit of heavenly dandruff a Holiday. So we all play dumb. (Well, OK. Some of us play dumb. The rest... well... fill in the blank.)

So obviously there are some good reasons to hope for a little white stuff on the ground... however, some people are really in need a tranquilizer, a vacation, or something. In the post office Wednesday, I was minding my own business (wishing the slow-as-molasses employees very, very ill) when a lady barges in all red-faced and excited, about to pee her pants.

"IT'S SNOWING! IT'S SNOWING!!"

Uh huh.
Sure enough, a little dandruff was drifting down.

1...2...3...4. Four seconds. Four seconds and it was gone for good, leaving you wondering if you ever even saw it at all.
The first snowfall of the year... blink and you missed it.


I'd bet my ass that Ms. Exciteable had milk and bread in her car.

4 comments:

  1. Peanut butter! Everyone goes crazy for peanut butter too! And beer, but I'm finding that was more the case in Louisiana than in these neck of the woods. lol

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  2. This is hilarious - I live in New England and some people react the same way! The markets are jammed up for days leading up to any little snowfall - people just panic thinking about the possibility of another "blizzard of '78" ... too funny

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  3. HA! This sounds JUST like Georgia when it snows. Pitiful, isn't it? Milk and bread mania ensues.

    Thanks for joining us at The Lightning and the Lightning Bug! Hope to see you around even more :)

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  4. After growing up on the plains both of my girls went to colleges in the South. Days like you describe here make them smile!

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