Monday, November 26, 2007

Ho *freaking* Ho

So... decorating the Christmas tree.

Pretty straightforward, right?
Yeah... no.

The lights.
The %$#%&!@ lights!

I swear to God, they are conspiring with my kids to drive me absolutely batshit insane. When all is said and done, I may just have to swear off Christmas trees for good. (And people thought I was a Scrooge before – HA!)

Pop Quiz:

What did the lights do to make me so vile-tempered?
a) Work when tested
b) Half stopped working once on the tree
c) A new strand died every time a previously non-working one was fixed
d) All of the above

How were my children and the lights working together against me?
a) Once all the lights were working, a toddler pulled a bulb out, resulting in partial blackout
b) Once all the lights were working, a toddler swung beads over her head, shattering a bulb
c) Once all the lights were working, a toddler touches a bulb, and a partial blackout ensues
d) All of the above

Did you really have to ask?
The answer is d. The answer is always d.

I'm happy to report though, that with the help of my lovely and talented assistant (husband), the lights are now working in the proper fashion.
Unfortunately, now both the kids are fascinated with removing the ornaments and destroying them. As a result, all our decorations are now inhabiting the (approximate) 2.5 ft section at the top of the tree where the kids can't reach.

Charlie Brown's tree had nothing on us.

1 comment:

  1. where are the pictures of this tree, woman? i need to see photographic proof that the tree is in working order. :)