Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Bring on the Chinese Water Torture... please!

Some days being a SAHM feels like war torture.

Imagine this: Your CD player is malfunctioning, stuck on repeat. You have no choice but to listen to the song "Wannabe" over and over again until you can disconnect it. Now. Imagine that you CANNOT STOP IT, and you have my morning.

"Wan cowwwah? Wan cowwwah? Wan cowwah!" ("Want to color" for those not versed in baby-speak.) Constantly I hear this. Even when the crayons and paper are right in front of her! What does this munchkin want from me? Am I supposed to color FOR her? Or maybe I should use my Mommy-magic to have the crayons perform tricks... or perhaps I should miraculously defecate some new yet-to-be-invented colors for my budding artiste.

Well... eventually the kid has to nap, right?

She finally conks out (no doubt dreaming about the superior nature of Crayola to Prang), and now we get to my afternoon.

The artiste is sleeping, so I'm alone with Anna for a couple of hours. So, being the optimist that I am, I decide to embark on another (different) artistic pursuit with her.

Oh boy.

The artistic pursuit? Priming the laundry room. (The previous homeowners were SEVERELY taste-challenged) I knew I'd have 'help', and boy was I right. She attacked the walls with gusto - a little gummy bear-fueled painting machine. Great, right? Well, yeah... except that the minute I turn my back, she smears the door with her paint (the door she was expressly warned AGAINST painting).

OK, chickie. Paint time over.

So yeah.
My day was long. Long and 'interesting' for lack of a better word. Ask me in the morning, though, and my kids will be angels again. :)
It's the blessing (curse?) of parenthood - your own kids are always angels.

(And even if they aren't, you still have to say it. The doctors make you sign a contract as the head is crowning... they can't have you screwing up that whole 'propagation of the species' thing by telling the truth.)

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