Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Clean is overrated

Given that I'm a 'housewife' I suppose I should be more into this homemaking thing. Ya know, fresh bread, clean floors, clean children, freshly ironed towels... the whole Donna Reed spiel.

Honestly though, I just don't get it when people speak of cleaning products in the loving manner I reserve for a triple-fudge brownie, or a really kick-ass cocktail.

Like the other day - a friend of mine was waxing poetic about Mr. Clean Magic erasers... they took the grime around her sink right off! What miraculous little pieces of heaven!

My thoughts went a little something like "Huh. You're supposed to wipe that stuff off?"

It's a conspiracy.

I've been watching Trading Spaces and Antiques Roadshow for years... and I know that filth is in! You just have to learn how to sell it to others.

*Nosy neighbor makes a comment about your ring-around-the faucet? Fix her with a pitying stare and inform her that it is verdigris, not grime.

*Your husband is skeptical about the cleanliness of the stainless appliances, and remarks about the food crusted on them? Roll your eyes and ask him if he hasn't ever heard of a little something called patina. Then inform him that patina greatly increases the value of antiques... someday he'll be grateful.


I'm proud to say that I am one step ahead of the game. Magic erasers be damned - I am patina-rich thanks to my two wrecking balls I sometimes refer to as children. Hey, they have their uses. Thanks to that spaghetti sauce and fruit leather patina, I'll be a rich woman someday.

1 comment:

  1. Hey, if you saw my clean sink, you'd be all poetic about those damn things, too! :D (And remember - that's the first time I've cleaned that crap around the sink in ummm....two years? :D)